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| Stop and look Around.
I'm tired of being focused. It is the focused people that reach the end of their life and realize that they forgot why they were being so focused to begin with. I hate that all this is cliche. I hate that we have self-help magazines, television shows, and councilors who tell us to go out and live, and yet so many of us are somehow stuck. Why are we stuck? I think it is because we are willing to acknowledge that a worthwhile life is about risk taking, but most of us don't believe it. We are not willing to brave the criticism, the pain, the trials.
Perhaps my paradigm is wrong. It is not those who are focused that are to blame. It is those who are only focused on the societal measures of success: beauty, money, and luxury. It is those who believe the lie.
I don't want to believe the lie.
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| He hears me when I pray,
Not just my request,
But my intonation, my struggle,
He knows me.
Today I remembered the Cross. The cross that took away every single wrong that I have done or will do. For a short period I thought I didn't need to focus on the Cross. I thought that all these Christians were focusing on Christ's death and not enough on his resurrection and His glory. But to know His suffering is crucial for me to know His Glory. It is through His suffering that I am counted worthy with unveiled face to partake in the the presence and Love of Jesus my savior. Thank you for the cross.
I am here My Son,
Don't you see me?
remember!
Hear my voice,
Hear me dear Child,
With one glance you have ravished my heart.
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| I used to write. Prose would flow freely from my hands and onto my computer screen, through my router and to my lovely audience. But lately I just haven't felt like writing. Every month or so I would write a sentence or two in this text box, but eventually deem it unworthy for posting and then just click onto something else.
I miss writing. I used to think E-props were just vanity, but now I know better. E-props remind me that I am a part of a community of thinkers. They tell me that there are people out there that realize that "Flava of Love" and America's Best Dance Crew cannot be the sum of the great creative minds of this generation.
With this in mind I'm going to talk about random things:
3 Point Sermons that Start with the Letter "P"
Fill in the blank Outlines with 3 main points are more often then not not lead by the Holy Spirit.
Reflecting on my Last Post
Now that I look back on it, I actually don't agree completely with my last post.
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| I Had Forgotten Holiness
For the last two or three years I was convinced that the most important aspect of God was Love. I would purposely read the Old testament far less because I knew that it has more incidents of God's wrath and judgment. These passages were the ones my Berkeley peers would criticize Christianity with, showing that God is in fact "heartless". I knew the theological answer was that God is not only loving but also just, but I also questioned how God could in fact destroy entire people groups for little apparent reason.
Now I know the issue of Grace vs. Holiness is very apparent in the different sects of Christianity (Reform Church Vs. Emergent Church), but I do not want to make my point upon these distinctions. Instead I want to compare the way I lived my life. My Christian life has been characterized in obeying the 2 greatest commandments: to love God and to love others. But the "love" that I aimed at was mostly a feeling. The Christian life was to feel the presence of God and try to live in it. Now, I still agree that this is a vital part of the Christian life but there was also something vitally missing. It was and is the Absolute Hatred of sin.
In the past, I viewed the sins I committed as one time things that were road blocks in my Christian life. But upon further reflection and revelation I realize that GOD HATES SIN. I realize I am absolutely 100% wretched. I realize that in order for me to continue to grow in Holiness, in Christ likeness, I must understand the weight that my sin carries. It is an absolute offense to a perfectly HOLY God, who has perfectly HOLY laws that I have deliberately disregarded and disobeyed. It is this rebellion that makes the CROSS so amazing. It is not some wishy washy sin that everybody has so it's not so bad. In order to pursue God I must despise my Sin and pursue Holiness; for God is Holy.
Alright, now the disclaimer. This revelation is a personal one and I by no means condone myself or any other man to condemn others of their sin if it is not done in love. I also do not consider myself a converted Reformist or did I ever consider myself part of the Emergent Church movement.
I found this to be very interesting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuabITeO4l8
But I do not agree completely with Paul Washer, but he does speak a lot of truth.
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| it's a terrible feeling to be incapable of doing what you know to be right and good. the bad inside you eats away at you, but the good is even worst. it tells you everything you're not, hypocrisy that is tangible. the exact place the liar wants you to be. self-pity, self-indulgence, helplessness. Everyone of us, in some area of our lives feel this. whether it's the inability to love others or the inability to trust God. But we cannot believe the lie. We are not helpless. We are free if we choose to be. I am discovering the beauty of choice. If I choose to be tired after work then I will be. If I choose to be unhappy then thus I find myself in that way. We are empowered by more than just good feeling songs and community; we are powered by the very spirit of God if we choose to be.
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